If given a choice between doing anything and coming home, I will always choose the latter, but I know it is not always possible

I was having my dinner alone in a restaurant of the hotel where I was staying in Bangkok. The lady with a pink apron had just placed a half-filled glass of complimentary wine on my table.  

Before that meal, I was faced with some very stressful moments at work and had just dealt with some unreasonable (and nasty) people. At that point I had to remind myself, that sometimes, obnoxious people come into our lives to serve as ladders in reaching our goals and maturity.

But the keening shriek of homesickness was interfering with all my senses, making it much more challenging for me to apply the appropriate wisdom to the situation.

Yes – ‘homesick’. At times when we are away from home and have no one to talk to, especially after an emotional encounter with unfriendly people, we tend to feel alone… and lonely. 

I sat in a corner of the dining room, a blue-framed mirror with an opaque background standing 5 feet away from me. And as I accepted its invitation to gaze, I saw my reflection. I saw me. And looking back at me was the saddest man I’d ever seen holding a glass of wine. 

So, there I was. I wanted to go home. I felt homesick. I longed to be in a place where I could hear gentle and soft voices, with promises of teddy hugs and warm embraces. I needed to be home. Homeward bound, I wish I was. I was lonely. I was tipsy. Did I mention the wine?

Homesick

Homesickness is universal. It is a feeling of aloneness and loneliness. It is a longing for one’s home when we are not home. Those who travel to far-flung places have become quite familiar with this biting emotion.

We – Filipinos – are now the quintessence of travellers and are sometimes considered the modern wanderers. We are everywhere on the planet. Some go to places miles away from home, coerced to leave their abode. Some want to look for better opportunities or change their views.  Some are OFWs, migrant workers, or soldiers.

However, the circumstances surrounding their new domiciles are not always pleasant. And at times, the happiness they tried to find in the places they chose to work, serve, or live, is as far away as the horizon. They are homesick. They are alone. They are lonely. 

“Homesickness is universal. It is a feeling of aloneness and loneliness. It is a longing for one’s home when we are not home”

Ron

So, should we just go home when we are homesick? It appears to be an excellent solution. But is it always the proper response to how we feel? If we were to do that every time we were feeling homesick, we would be missing out on the opportunity to gain new friends, adjust to a new environment, and succeed in a place that could give us a chance to learn new things. 

Instead, try to talk. Yes, talk. Well, not talk as in Marites (spreading tsismis / rumour), but talk to express what you think and feel. Look into the blue-framed mirror below and please let me explain.

Talk about our feelings with someone in that new place: Our feelings matter. The path towards happiness, calmness, and rationality is attained chiefly by talking about our complex emotions – in this case, loneliness and homesickness – that are becoming impediments to achieving our dreams and aspirations. When we speak to a person we can trust, vulnerability creates human connections and friendliness, leading to the discovery that we are not alone. We’ll be surprised to comprehend that these people, or new pangyaos (friends), who have been in the same situation, or experienced homesickness themselves, are willing to help us cope.  

Talk to our friends and family back home: It is good to see familiar faces and it’s nice to hear intimate and recognisable voices. These days, video calls are widespread, so let us use them. Chatting with our buddies and loved ones back home is a fantastic way to make us feel supported and connected, and our confidence to make it on our own will soar high. Just a word of caution: let’s not focus only on our friends back home insofar as we might forego the chance to make new ones.

Talk to ourselves: Ok, this does not mean we are crazy; it’s just a way of reminding ourselves about our own positive traits, strengths, and unique characteristics that could help us to conquer homesickness. Our brain is marvellous, because when we have a secluded night or a bad day, our mind can consistently manufacture a storyline to help us get through the difficult and unhappy times.

So, let’s talk to ourselves like someone we really love (and of course, we should love ourselves). We can speak loudly in front of a mirror (just ensure we’re alone) or silently and have our minds converse with our conscious selves. 

That’s it. Just talk. Talk about your homesickness, and your homesickness will talk its way out.