You woke up this morning feeling so frustrated. You think the whole world is on your shoulder. You can’t even have a decent sleep. You seem to encounter failure after failure. You can’t remember the last time you felt good about yourself. Life seems to be beating you, and it sucks. What can you do?

Yes, we all know it; a failed venture can be paralysing and discouraging. Sometimes it leaves deep wounds that often hinder us from looking for whatever bright side life offers. What shall you do? Here are five recommendations you can follow to steadily (with higher certainty) recover from defeat.

1. Recognizing setbacks / acceptance

It will help if you recognise that you missed it. First, you need to comprehend your present situation. Denying your condition will only derail your road to recovery. Only by identifying where you are will you know where you must go.  

There is a tendency for us to pretend that everything is alright or that nothing went wrong. Truly, failing is not always something to be proud of; however, it’s not always something to be ashamed of, either. Often, it could mean that you only have to do things differently. Instead, it’s usually just a call for a change. Realising and admitting that you failed can start you off you on your way to recovery. 

2. Moving on / No overstaying 

Yes, it is understandable that you feel so low. It’s ok to feel hurt or sad. It’s also alright to mourn your failure. But don’t do it for too long. Don’t dwell too much on it. Don’t overstay.

Sulking in one corner and being sad unceasingly will not help you; it will just stress your already broken heart. And no one wants to be with anyone who stays long in the pit; you have to get out of it. Step to where the sunlight is and move on. It is not easy, but you’ve got to do it.  

3. Restoring self-esteem

Look back at your past accomplishments, even when they were quite some time ago. Remind yourself how skilled and talented you are, particularly in fields you are passionate about. List them if necessary, and then read them back to yourself. This is an excellent approach to make you realise that you just failed in one endeavour, but you are NOT a failure.

Talk to your best friend/s or people close to you. It’s crucial, however, that the individuals you speak with are those you could trust, those who would not look down on you, and who would recognise your potential. Let them remind you of your outstanding qualities, talents, and strengths. Do these things, and you will reinstate your self-confidence in no time.

Success is not final,failure is not fatal:
it is the courage to continue that counts

– Winston Churchill

4. Identifying what you can do

Remember that most failures result from overlooking the things you should have paid attention to but haven’t. You are often overwhelmed with many things, so you tend to oversee everything instead of attending to something you can control.

Focus on the areas you have control of and not on those you have no way of influencing. This means going back to the drawing board. This entails proper planning. This requires being better prepared for your subsequent activities. Remember, you are now on your way to recovery and don’t want to derail it again by not having a good plan. So again, focus on what you can control and identify precisely what you can do.

5. Starting all over

The best life can offer is its ability to tell you that you can always start again, and it does not matter where you are in your life now. So don’t be afraid to begin again. Don’t be scared to break out of your shell again. Starting is often a good thing, especially if you already know many things you didn’t know before being hit by frustration. 

Be happy to begin again. Find out the bright side of it. Realise how exciting it is to relaunch yourself. Learn the benefits of starting all over again. Failure is part of life; all of us experience it. But, sometimes, it’s just a segment of our life that we must face to succeed. So, when you wake up again tomorrow, remember that.  

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end

– Denis Waitley