Loving someone means giving a piece of yourself for that person to keep. You invest your time and effort, hoping to find that special someone to share your hopes and dreams with, and ultimately share your life with. 

It is the best feeling, but paradoxically, it can also be the worst. Especially when it comes to broken trust, and, in the face of romance scams, the financial and emotional damage to go with it.

Romance scams have become a growing concern in Hong Kong, especially amongst the migrant community, who are particularly vulnerable to such schemes due to being away from family and friends. 

Homesickness (read this issue’s homesickness feature on page 14) and loneliness can bring emotional and mental distress; it may even cloud one’s judgement when it comes to receiving attention from potential scammers online, who often specifically seek out lonely women to woo. 

“Mga 15 years na ako na biyuda. Malalaki na din ang aking dalawang anak at may sariling pamilya na din sila. Okay naman akong nagtratrabaho dito sa Hong Kong para na rin sa sarili ko at hindi pa ako handang mag-retire. Nagkaroon ako ng boyfriend dito sa Hong Kong pero nagbreak kami mga 4 years ago. Talagang sobrang lungkot ko noong nangyari ‘yon dahil pakiramdam ko na hindi na ako makakahanap ng pag-ibig sa edad ko na 53 years old noon,” [I’ve been a widow for 15 years. My two children are all grown up with their own families. I was alright working in Hong Kong for my own sake and I wasn’t ready to retire just yet. I had a boyfriend here, but we broke up 4 years ago. I was very sad when it happened, because I had a feeling that at my age of 53 then, I would never find love again] shares Gina (not her real name), a migrant domestic worker (MDW) who has been working in Hong Kong for many years.

Many migrants come to the city seeking better job opportunities and financial stability, making them more susceptible to offers of financial assistance, even if it sometimes means parting with their own money on a promise of bigger returns. 

These scams typically involve perpetrators creating fake online profiles on dating websites or social media platforms, luring unsuspecting individuals into romantic relationships, then asking for money under false pretences.

“March 2021, nagtitingin lang ako sa Facebook ko nang napansin ko ang isang message alert. Galing sa isang lalaking nagngangalang Jeff na isang sundalo sa US Army na nakabase sa Libya. Napakaganda ng message niya. Nakikita niya daw sa aking profile na masipag ako, that I looked like someone who takes care of herself,” [It was March 2021 when I happened to notice a message on Facebook. It was from a guy from the US Army, he said his name was Jeff and he was stationed in Libya. His message was so nice; he said he could see from my profile that I was hardworking, that I looked like someone who takes care of herself] recalls Gina with a smile.

One of the most common tactics adopted by romance scammers is building a strong emotional connection with their victims. They often use flattering language, love poems, and promises of a future together to manipulate their targets. 

“Siyempre noong una, medyo duda ako sa kanya, kahit isang buwan na kaming nagmemessage araw-araw. Kaya tinanong ko si Jeff kung pwede niya akong tawagan para marinig ko ang boses niya. Umoo naman siya, at nag-usap kami ng gabing iyon. Kung gaano siya kalambing sa mga messages niya, ganon din siya habang kausap ko sa telepono. Talagang nahuhulog na ang loob ko sa kanya,” 

[Of course, in the beginning I had my doubts, even though we had been messaging every day for a month. So, I asked Jeff if he could give me a call, so I could get a chance to hear his voice; he said yes and called me that night. His conversation over the phone was as sweet and romantic as he was in his messages. I was starting to fall in love with him,” Gina reminisces.

Once trust has been established, the scammer will then fabricate a scenario in which they require financial assistance, such as being stranded in a foreign country without funds or needing money for a medical emergency. Victims, who by that point have become emotionally invested in the relationship, are much more likely to comply with these requests, out of a desire to help their ‘partner’.

“Mga 3 months kaming halos araw-araw nag-uusap sa messenger nang pinakita niya sa akin ang kanyang last will and testament at deposit slip sa isang bangko na nagkakahalaga ng USD 4,800,000. Kailangan daw nya magbayad ng 0.1% (USD 4,800) na fee para ma-access niya ang kanyang deposito. Pahapyaw >

lang niya binanggit, at hindi naman siya nanghingi ng pera sa akin. Binaling niya ang usapan naming sa anong pangarap ko kung magkapera ako, at tutulungan niya daw akong makamit ito. Pakiramdam ko na seryoso siya sa akin kasi sa mga salita niya na susuportahan niya ako,” [After about 3 months of speaking to each other every day, he showed me his last will and testament and a bank deposit certificate, both stating that he had USD 4,800,000 in his account. He told me he needed to pay a 0.1% (USD 4,800) fee for him to access his deposit. He just mentioned it in passing, and didn’t ask me for the money then. He changed the topic and asked me what my dream life would be if I ever had money and told me he would help me achieve this. I really felt he was sincere because of his words of support] Gina sighs.

As with most romance scams, Gina’s story did not end well. She ended up borrowing money from friends and loan companies to send ‘Jeff’ the USD 4,800 (HKD37,360). He tried asking for more money after a few weeks, but Gina said she couldn’t spare anymore and begged him to return some of the money she sent him. That’s when he blocked all forms of communication with her and she was left with the sad truth that, not only had she been scammed, but she had also had her heart broken.

To avoid falling prey to romance scams, we should be vigilant and educate ourselves on the red flags associated with these fraudulent schemes. Some common warning signs to look out for include requests for money early in the relationship and inconsistencies in the scammer’s story. 

Be cautious when communicating with individuals who claim to be in a foreign country or have a complicated backstory, as these are often indicators of a potential scam. It is important to remember that genuine romantic partners should never ask for financial assistance from someone they have only just met online.